Forever Without You
by radiogirl
Summary: When Max left for Antar he didn't think Liz would fall in love again especially not with Sean. Battling with the hurt and pain of watching her love go Liz turns to the one other person who could make her happy. But when Max comes back hearts are broken.
1. Max

~A/N~ My first attempt at ROSWELL fanfiction but by far not my first attempt at fanfiction. I am a music writer and they are taking all my stories off so I am searching for a new fanfic venue. Hope you like it. REVIEW PLEASE??? It will help sooo much! Thanks y'all!  
  
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She closed her eyes tightly blocking out the painful blinding lights above, not wanting to believe what he had said- not wanting it to be true.  
  
"Y-you have to go?" She asked opening her sullen eyes and looking over at him.  
  
"You know I don't want to Liz but I have to. I can't stay here anymore. For one, it is too dangerous in Roswell and second, they need me up there. I am their king- I have to go. We all have to go." He shook his head as he looked down at his hands tearing away from her tear-stained face. He swallowed the lump in his throat before going on. "It won't be long. I just- "  
  
"And how long is not long Max? How long do you expect me to live while you are off on some other planet. I mean, do you understand how severely messed up this is? I can't believe I am dealing with this. Most girls get mad when their boyfriend goes off on a one week vacation and you are going to another planet!" Liz heard her voice raising and she closed her mouth trying to suppress the need to lie on the floor and cry.  
  
He looked at her with regret, "probably a few years." He sighed as she shook her head and looked away. "Nothing will change Liz. I still love you- nothing can change that."  
  
"Don't you get it Max? You're going to be in another galaxy! How can you say nothing will be different? How can you believe that?" She felt the tears clogging her voice preventing her from going on and she looked back over at Max and saw the tears gleam in his eyes.  
  
"I love you so much Liz. Things are going to change- but I will always love you. That will never change." She looked at him and she saw the honesty in his eyes and she nodded slowly. "You know I'll always love you Max. I always have- and I will forever."  
  
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It had been weeks since they had left- one day of goodbyes and they were gone for who knows how long. Liz half listened as her English teacher droned on as she remembered the way he had looked at her when he said goodbye.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
You know we'll be back don't you?" Max said looking briefly over at Isabel, Michael, Maria, and Kyle before glancing back at Liz.  
  
"Yeah I know." She said softly not meeting his eyes. He reached over and put his index finger under her chin lifting it up so she was looking at him.  
  
"I'll always love you Liz. I always have loved you and I always will. You're my life- you're my existence."  
  
"Just be careful alright?" She asked her voice cracking as she held his gaze.  
  
"I'll be so careful for you Liz. And I'll be back- believe me I'll be back," he took a step closing the distance between them and brushed his lips up against hers. Reluctantly he pulled away and looked at her once before taking a step back and leaving the room.  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
Liz sighed as she heard the bell ring and her memory of the day not long ago ended. She stuffed her books back into her back and swung it over her shoulders heading out into the hall. She dreaded going to Science- science where she had always been Max's lab partner- Science where she knew she would face the inevitable empty chair to go along with her empty heart. 


	2. Stolen Memories

~A/N~ I forgot to say at the beginning of the other chapter that this story is before graduation, after Alex's death, and Tess is already gone. So, just to clear some things up. Thank you for the reviews so far! They mean so much and help me to write better and FASTER! Please review if you like or even don't like the story- it helps. THANKS!  
  
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*The Next Day*  
  
"Liz, where is Maria? We're busy and she decides to go off on one of her twenty minute breaks as usual," Liz's father sighed as he wiped down the counter. "Go and find her please? Then come right back."  
  
Liz nodded and headed to the back of the restaurant and through the swinging doors, glad for the silence. She looked toward the employee bathroom and saw the light shining through the crack below the door. She jogged over and knocked softly.  
  
"Maria? Maria are you in there?" She asked and waited for a response. When she heard none she pushed the door open and peeked inside. She sighed as she saw Maria huddled in the corner of the bathroom leaning up against the wall, tears streaming down her face.  
  
Liz walked over and crouched in front of her looking at her worriedly. "Maria, are you alright?" She asked knowing the answer already- knowing Maria was feeling exactly what she was feeling at that moment.  
  
Maria took in a shuddering breath and shook her head slowly. "I miss him," she stated quietly as more tears brimmed her eyes and she buried her face in her hands.  
  
"He'll be back Maria. They'll all be back some day- you know that. Don't lose your hope in Michael. He wouldn't stay away from you for forever- he couldn't."  
  
Maria shook her head, "I know. I know he'll be back but when Liz? When will Michael be back? When will Max? Don't you wonder? I never thought they would leave. After Michael came out of the Granolith that day for me I thought he would never leave me. Now he did and I don't know when he'll ever be back- I don't think I can do it anymore."  
  
"You'll do it Maria. You'll do it, I'll do it, Kyle will do it- we'll all do it. We'll make it and then one day they'll be back and you'll say 'hey, that wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.' Then Michael will be here and everything will be great."  
  
"I want it now Liz. All I want is Michael."  
  
*That Night*  
  
Liz looked at her reflection in the mirror. She'd been sitting there for hours- never tearing her gaze from the face that stared back at her. She hadn't truly seen herself for so long- every fiber of her existence had been lost in Max and only now did she see that it was almost who she had become. It hadn't been just Liz it had always been LizandMax. Now she felt herself having to tear herself away and she was lost- she didn't know who she was anymore.  
  
She tore her eyes away when she heard a noise out on the patio outside her room and for a moment a streak of hope ran through her- Max. Max had always come on the patio to see her- Max.  
  
She felt her hope fade as the person leaned down and the face came into view.  
  
"Hey Liz," he said and she smiled weakly at him.  
  
"Oh, Sean. How are you?" She asked half-heartedly as Sean slid in through the window.  
  
" 'Oh, Sean'? What kind of a greeting is that?" He asked chuckling slightly as he flopped back on her bed. "But to answer your question I am just lovely. Amy mentioned redecorating the Living Room and asked me if I would help so I escaped and came here. That's alright isn't it?" He asked glancing over at her.  
  
"Yeah sure that's great," she said trying to sound normal and hide the disappointment deep within her heart.  
  
"It's that Max Evans again isn't it?" He asked catching her off-guard by reading exactly what her mind was thinking. "It's always Max."  
  
"I don't' know what you're talking about Sean. It isn't-"  
  
"Don't pull that crap with me Liz, I can read you like a book. I noticed he doesn't come around the Crashdown anymore- where did he go anyway?"  
  
Liz shrugged her shoulders, "who knows?" She said and knew she wasn't lying- she had no idea where Max was now. Somewhere up in another galaxy- somewhere where he probably wasn't even thinking of her.  
  
"I never got that guy- why he did what he did to you. That day at the Crashdown- the day of the black out. That has something to do with this doesn't it? What happened with Brody?"  
  
Liz closed her eyes and nodded, "I don't want to talk about it Sean."  
  
"I could never understand how Max could hurt you the way he did. I always knew that guy wasn't good enough for you," He said and Liz opened her eyes caught aback by what he had said.  
  
Sean heaved himself up and headed toward her window glancing back at her shocked expression. "I'm leaving but I'll see you later alright?" He asked as he climbed through the window.  
  
"Alright. See ya Sean," She said watching as he took the ladder down to the street and left. Although he wasn't there anymore his words still raced through her brain, slithering through the crevices of her memory and bringing her back to the days not long ago that she had almost loved Sean- almost. 


	3. Sean

~A/N~ Hey, thank you to the few reviewers I have. If I don't get enough reviews then I am going to stop updating- just a warning so PLEASE review! I love this story and I don't want to have to quit just because I don't have to motivation to write. Also, in order to make this story better I have set it in the time frame where Tess isn't dead yet and Max hasn't met his son OK? Just to let you know. Adios and please review? I would love it sooo much.  
  
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*The Next Day*  
  
Liz flipped through the pages, running her hand over the familiar words scrawled by her pen not long ago, yearning to get a glimpse of those days when her thoughts were completely different.  
  
She stopped on the page she wanted and began in the middle of the page, slowly reading the words she had written- the words that seemed so foreign to her now.  
  
~. I ran out and I saw THEM- Max and Tess and they were kissing. The worst feelings I could ever imagine all went through me at the same time. Hurt, loneliness, and shame most of all. I ran out, searching for somewhere that I could go to escape- for someone I could see to make me forget everything Max Evans had done to me. So I went to Sean. I feel so bad sometimes when I go to Sean to help me forget- like I am using him to get away from Max and then I toss him aside once Max comes. But last night I felt something I never felt for Sean before. He took me bowling and I had so much fun- so much fun on the night that only an hour before had felt like the worst night of my life. I didn't mean to but I let Sean kiss me and although it wasn't like when Max kissed me, Sean made it feel so special- like he hadn't been with so many girls like I knew he had. It wasn't like that day in the car either- because I wasn't thinking about Max when I let Sean kiss me. I was thinking about Sean. Sean let me see that he would do anything for me- almost like he loved me and I think I may be falling in.~  
  
She shut the book and closed her eyes tightly before she could finish the sentence. Before she could read the words she knew came next- before she could see that she had loved him.  
  
Max had hurt her so much- how could she forget. Max had loved her so much that for a moment Liz had actually been able to block out the days when he denied her love and claimed his love for Tess instead. True, it had been Liz that pushed Max away but he didn't have to hurt her like he did. He didn't have to lose the one thing Liz had saved for him for so long to Tess on that night in the observatory. He didn't have to shatter her dreams like that.  
  
Liz slid off her bed and walked out onto the patio outside her room and glanced up at the stars that littered the sky on that dark night and she sighed thinking that Max was up there- somewhere. Up there leading his planet, defeating Kivar, and saving his people from despair they had felt for so long.  
  
Deep in her heart she felt the twinge of jealousy as she remembered who was also up there with Max- Tess. Tess and Max's son.  
  
*A Week Later*  
  
"Hey Liz," Sean said as he entered her room through her window and jumped carelessly onto her bed.  
  
Liz laughed as she looked up from the homework she had been stooped over for hours, "is this going to become a regular thing for you and me Sean?"  
  
He smiled, "what's wrong Parker, not enjoying my company?"  
  
"Did I say that?" Liz asked innocently and Sean let out a snort of laughter.  
  
"What are you doing anyway?" He asked curiously.  
  
"Converting and evaluating chemical equations for Chemistry."  
  
"Whoa whoa," Sean held up his hands, "the guy who slept through the amount of high school he actually finished here remember? You know, the criminal? You're going t fast for me," he looked over at her, "you know what? I don't even want to know."  
  
She giggled as she set down her pencil and spun around to face him. "So what's up with you today Sean?"  
  
"Oh not much- you know the usual. Sleep 'till noon, get up, eat, lounge around, come and see you. Life is good. I don't see why you waste your time at high school anyway- seeing you doing homework just further proves why I didn't finish high school."  
  
Liz shook her head, "you really should have you know Sean. It would take you so much further in life and-"  
  
"Parker, Parker, Parker. Geez, I get enough of this from Amy and Maria without you getting on me about high school too."  
  
"Sorry Sean," she apologized, "but you know I think you should have finished."  
  
He nodded and a silence fell after her statement. She picked at her nails as he traced the lines in her ceiling until finally he looked over at her. "Hey Parker, you remember that night in the bowling ally?"  
  
Liz felt her heart skip a beat at what he said and looked up and saw him staring at her. She had been thinking about that night since she had read her old journal entry.  
  
"Th- that night at the bowling ally?" She stuttered, "yeah Sean. I remember that night at the bowling ally."  
  
He tore his eyes away and he sighed. "I think a lot about that night at the bowling ally."  
  
She stayed silent, just staring at him and wondering what she should say- what exactly could she say? She had acted like she loved him and then the moment Max was back in the picture Sean was back out of the picture. How could she explain how she had replaced him so easily? How could Sean ever understand what Max had meant to her- how she would have done anything for him.  
  
"That night did mean something to you didn't it Liz? I mean, you didn't just go to me and then forget it all? I know you and Max got back together but I just need to know- I need to know if it meant as much to you as it did to me."  
  
Liz sat in complete silence choosing her words carefully. Trying to think of what the right thing to say would be.  
  
"You know what? Never mind. I gotta go but I'll see you later alright?" Sean said as he jumped off the bed and headed for the window.  
  
"Sean?" Liz called as he began to climb out and he stopped to look back at her. She paused, "it did mean something." She said and she watched as the smile slowly spread across his face.  
  
He laughed slightly, "see you later Parker." And he was gone. 


	4. Love and Bowling

~A/N~ Hey everyone. OK, so I didn't get many reviews. That isn't alright but I guess one will have to do. I am going to finish this story but it would help me SO MUCH if you PLEASE review! I need reviews to write. I can understand this whole predicament though. I was music writer and I am pretty used to getting about five reviews per chapter- at least. I know I am not getting that many here because, well, this could just be a bad story or it could be because I am not a known Roswell writer. I had become, over the years, a known and respected music writer. I only hope you guys give me a chance. I promise I'll come up with some better Roswell stories! I only hope you'll read them.  
  
Anyway- review please? And enjoy this chapter, I thought it was pretty good.  
  
P.S.- I changed the summary a little- for anyone who was wondering.  
  
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*A month or so later*  
  
It had been weeks since the day with Sean in her room. She saw Sean almost every day and they never talked about the night in the bowling ally again. As the days wore on she found her self beginning to forget the way it was before more and more every day. Sean made her laugh, Sean made her smile, and most of all Sean made her forget.  
  
As much time as she spent with Sean Liz couldn't lose that ounce of hope she had in her heart that Max would come back some day- some day soon and not in a few years. She found herself wondering what exactly Max had wanted her to do- sit and wait? Wait for him for years? Max didn't understand what it was like to be left behind. While Max, Isabel, and Michael were up fighting a rebellion she was stuck on earth doing Civics homework and working at the Crashdown. While Max was saving a whole civilization from despair she was trying to make it through a week at school and through her shift at work.  
  
It had been almost three months since they had left and Liz still found it hard to not let her mind wander back to the many hours she had spent with Max. From the good days to the bad- it had always been Max for years and she found it unbearable wandering Earth alone without him.  
  
"Something's up with you," Liz was pulled out of her trance when Maria walked up beside her and began wiping down the counter.  
  
"Why do you say that?" Liz asked, her mind still wandering.  
  
"Well, the fact that you've been wiping that spot on the table for about five minutes could be what it was the tipped me off," Maria laughed, "or maybe it is that distant look in your eye that tells me that you aren't here with me anymore."  
  
Liz shook her head, "yeah I guess. I just have had a lot on my mind." She shrugged her shoulders and moved over to the next table wiping it down and getting ready to close up for the night.  
  
"Yeah you and everyone else around here. Even SEAN has seemed like he is distant and thinking all the time. I mean, Sean doesn't think does he?" Maria asked and Liz snapped out of her trance at the sound of Sean's name.  
  
"Sean? What's he acting like?" She asked curiously devoting her whole attention to Maria.  
  
Maria gave her an odd look, "not like I care or anything but he's just been acting weird. Moody and distant. He disappears all the time too during the day and mom doesn't know where he goes and neither do I."  
  
"Oh," She commented and nodded as she went to refill the Salt shakers.  
  
Maria looked at her curiously. "You wouldn't happen to know where he goes would you?"  
  
Liz spun around and looked at her shocked. "Why would I know?" She asked innocently as she gathered the Salt shakers and carried them over to the counter.  
  
"Well you seemed awfully curious when I said Sean seemed distant," Maria paused looking Liz over. "Oh no. You guys aren't like- doing what you were before were you?" Maria asked her voice raising a pitch. "Please tell me you aren't seeing him again."  
  
Liz smiled, "of course I'm not SEEING him again. I mean I see him but I'm not dating him. Come on Maria- has it been so long that you've actually forgotten Max? Michael and Isabel? I mean really."  
  
Maria sighed and shook her head. "Of course I didn't forget them Liz but I was just wondering. She went on wiping the counter and then stopped. "Wait, when do you see him? You haven't been to my house in weeks and Sean barely goes anywhere except for when he disappears and when he works."  
  
Liz sighed, "will you just drop it Maria? I'm not dating Sean alright? End of story."  
  
Maria glanced over at her and nodded slowly, "OK Liz." She said but couldn't suppress the feeling that Liz was hiding something from her.  
  
*Meanwhile- in another galaxy*  
  
"My Lord," the troops entered the large spacious room and their troop leader stopped in front of Max saying the word in a language he somehow understood. Max stood slowly and looked at them. "My Lord it is proven now. Kivar is dead. His body was found outside of Telaham."  
  
Max nodded slowly and looked over at Isabel and Michael, speaking in English he said the words they had longed to hear for so long. "We're going back. As soon as I can get the civilization stabilized and a new ruler in position we will go back to Earth." He stopped choosing his words carefully, "don't get too excited. It could be a year before we get back, no one can tell. Just know we are going back- sometime sooner than we had expected."  
  
*A few days later- Earth*  
  
"So you just said it?" Liz asked smiling as she looked over at Sean across the bed.  
  
"Yeah, it was no big deal. I told him he was an asshole- like he didn't know it already. Everyone at work knew it, I was just the only one with enough guts to say it. True, I did get fired but that was just a minor complication. Plus, I have a new job now anyway." He smiled at her and she laughed as she played with the bracelet on her wrist. "Are you doing alright Liz?" Sean asked casting a worried glance in her direction.  
  
"Me? Oh yeah Sean. I'm fine." Liz lied smiling and trying to hide the feelings that had been dominating her thoughts for months.  
  
"No you're not Liz!" Sean said, his voice raising to a level higher than he had wanted it to. She looked up at him startled. "You're not alright. Why won't you ever tell me? Why do you always lie to me? You haven't been alright for months- ever since Max Evans disappeared to who knows where." He stopped and looked at her sighing. "You don't have to lie to me anymore Liz. I can take it. I get the fact that Max is the one you are upset over alright? You don't have to lie anymore."  
  
She stared at him and she felt the tears prick behind her eyes begging to be let free- begging her to give in and cry. "I- I don't know what to say Sean," She said her voice cracking.  
  
He looked at her for a minute before speaking. "You know what you need Parker?" He asked.  
  
"What do I need Sean?"  
  
He smiled and laughed, "you need to bowl."  
  
*Ten Minutes Later*  
  
"They gave you a key?" Liz asked as she watched Sean unlock the doors, shivering in the November night air.  
  
He held open the door for her and she walked in, "of course. I do work her you know and they pretty much knew I was going to come at night whether they gave me a key or not and they said it was alright as long as I pay for whatever I eat and don't wreck anything." She laughed and he walked over flipping on the lights. One by one each of the lanes lit up and they walked over. Liz sat in one of the chairs as she watched Sean grab a ball from one of the racks by the concession stand.  
  
He typed in their names and he threw the first ball, getting a perfect strike. He turned and smiled back at her.  
  
"Been practicing Sean?" Liz asked laughing at the look of pride on his face.  
  
Sean laughed as he walked over and sat down next to her, "hey Liz?" He asked breaking the silence.  
  
She looked over at him, not exactly knowing what he was going to say- and not knowing if it was going to be something she wanted to hear. Sean had said so many things to her lately- things that brought her back to the days Max had hurt her so much- the days where Sean had saved her and the days she had forgotten so easily when Max came back to her. "What?" She questioned finally.  
  
He smiled, "it's your turn to bowl." He said motioning toward the lane. He laughed as Liz glanced over at the lane.  
  
"Oh yeah," she said laughing slightly at her stupidity. She got up and threw her first ball- watching it go into the gutter. She sighed and when her second ball went into the same place she sat down helplessly next to Sean giving him a pitiful look. "I suck at bowling," she pouted making him laugh.  
  
"Well, who needs bowling anyway?" He asked taking off his shoes and standing up, grabbing her hand and leading her toward another lane.  
  
"Oh no you don't," She said realizing what he was doing. "The last time I did this I almost sprained my ankle Sean!" She screamed as she watched him slide down the lane effortlessly.  
  
"Oh come on Liz, just once? For me?" He begged pitifully laughing slightly at the reluctant look on her face. "Come on, I mean, we can go back to bowling, if that's what you really want to do."  
  
She glanced over at the place where they had been before realizing she didn't want to embarrass herself anymore. She shrugged, "Here goes nothing," She said taking off her shoes and running the short distance to the lane, sliding a little to fast for her liking. She let out a little scream as she ran into Sean and they both tumbled to the floor.  
  
He laughed as he caught her and they fell to the floor. "Now there's the Liz I remember!" He said and looked at her. "Fun and full of grace." He laughed again as she stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
She looked over and realized they were still wrapped up together out on the lane. She didn't want to stay like that but found herself reluctant to move as she caught his eye and they both fell silent. Instantly the scene flashed through her mind- the last time she had been at the bowling ally.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Sean looked at her from across the table where they had been sitting for hours. It was nearing one in the morning and he knew they should have left an hour ago but he didn't want to and he knew she didn't either.  
  
He looked at her again as he watched her look around the bowling ally. "You know I don't come here enough. I realize that now- I mean it has been, what, five years? At the least. No wonder I suck so much at bowling. I never do it! See, now you're good. You come here all the time-"  
  
"Liz," he said cutting her off and she glanced over at him startled.  
  
"Yeah?" She asked as she took a sip of the Coke they had gotten from the concession stand. "What do you need Sean?" She asked urging him to finish his thoughts.  
  
"I," he trailed off looking up at her, "what would you say if I said I wanted to kiss you right now?"  
  
She looked at him and in the silence she considered what he said before finally answering. "Then I'd say go ahead."  
  
He smiled before leaning over and catching her lips in a kiss. A kiss that felt better than she could have ever imagined, a kiss from someone who cared for her- a kiss not from Max.  
  
*End of flashback*  
  
Liz looked at him, still sitting in the lane. His eyes hadn't left hers and she could tell he wanted to kiss her again- she could also tell he was reluctant to do so. The last time he had kissed her she had gone back to Max, it had always been Max and had never been Sean.  
  
Slowly she watched as he looked her over before looking away. "What are you thinking?" She asked softly.  
  
He looked back at her, "I think you know what I am thinking." He said and he watched as she nodded slowly. "You remember it as well as I do Liz and I just can't believe that it didn't feel the same for you as it did for me. You know, Maria says I am incapable of loving. She says I am too much of a 'player' or whatever. That I could never care for a girl and not leave her. She said that I didn't have enough heart to love anyone the way they needed to be loved. It isn't true though," he paused and she knew what he was going to say before he said it, "I could love you the way you need to be loved."  
  
She looked at him not saying a word, not trusting her voice to hold out of she did.  
  
"I could love you if only you would let me," he muttered finishing his sentence and beginning to get up off the floor. She caught his hand and he looked down at her, waiting for her to speak.  
  
"What would you say if I said I wanted to kiss you?" She asked as she watched a smile spread across his face as he slowly lowered himself back down next to her.  
  
"Then I'd say go ahead," he said laughing as they both leaned in and the night replayed itself- the night from so long ago and the night they would never forget. 


	5. Confessions and a Homecoming

~A/N~ Ah, and things begin to change. Lol, thank you for the reviews! YOU GUYS ROCK! Hey, we are actually, surprisingly, probably more than halfway through this story. I'd say probably only about three more chapters. I know what is going to happen with this- it is just a matter of getting it down on paper. So review alright? The more reviews the fast the chapters come!  
  
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*Two months later*  
  
After two months Liz still hadn't told anyone about what was going on with Sean- not even Maria. Especially not Maria. She could already hear what Maria was going to say when she did and she didn't want to hear it- hear the disappointment in her voice. She would ask her how she could forget so soon, ask her how she could ever forget how much she had loved Max and how much he had loved her.  
  
The truth was she couldn't forget. In the beginning she had thought about Max every time she kissed Sean, every time he smiled at her, every time she laughed at one of his jokes. As the weeks wore on she thought of him less and less, though of the way he had made her feel less and less. She knew no one else could understand. She knew everyone would say it was too soon for her to forget her 'soul mate' and move on.  
  
As the weeks wore on, though, Liz saw how imperative it was for her to tell Maria what she was feeling. She saw how much she needed the advice of her best friend. So she decided it was time- and on that Friday Night, she told her.  
  
"So I told Mr. Baker I just wouldn't do it you know? I told him I wouldn't dissect the poor little frogs! He got totally pissed off at me too. He said, 'Miss DeLuca you are going to have to do things in life you don't want to and this is just one of them.' I mean, he wanted me to cut up that poor little froggie! That is absolute horror. I mean, I know you are a Science person Liz but you have to understand where I am coming from right?" Maria stopped talking briefly to look over at Liz' distant look and realized she hadn't really be listening to her.  
  
Maria sighed, "are you OK Liz?" She asked worriedly.  
  
Liz snapped back and the usual apology rose to her lips, begging her to brush it off and not tell Maria what was really going on. She heard the music of Dido's "Slide" playing in the background from the stereo placed on Maria's desk and she could hear the laughter from Amy and Sean ring out from downstairs, further pushing her toward her decision. She knew what she had to do- and she knew she couldn't lie to Maria again.  
  
~ Don't slide, slide, slide.  
  
You have brought this on yourself,  
  
And it's high time you left it there.  
  
Lie her and rest your head,  
  
Dream of something else instead. ~  
  
"I have to tell you something Maria," Liz said and she looked into Maria's eyes. Maria nodded urging her to go on. "I- I know you aren't going to like this and I know you could never even understand. If you were me though you would understand. I just- it has just been too long."  
  
"Oh come on Liz!" Maria laughed, "you know you can tell me anything." She said and Liz looked at her knowing she was honest, knowing deep down that Maria would understand.  
  
"I- Sean and I, we've been seeing each other lately." A moment of silence followed her sentence and in the quiet she heard the CD switch to "Isobel" as she watched Maria's expression falter slightly.  
  
Maria looked down at her hands and shook her head laughing slightly, "I know that Liz."  
  
Liz looked at her startled, "you know that? What do you mean you know that?"  
  
Maria laughed again. "I can't believe you two didn't think I knew. For one, Sean has been just way too happy lately. I heard him singing the other day- SINGING! I mean, does that actually sound like Sean to you? That's just not normal for Sean. Not that Sean is normal or anything but you know what I mean. Also, you. I mean, I can read you so well Liz. Honestly, did you think I couldn't? I've been your best friend for- forever! I know everything about you and I especially know when you're in love." Maria stopped for a moment to glance over at Liz. "I know you thought I would be mad but you really should have told me Liz. I know you thought I would tell you it was too soon, you thought I would say it was too soon for you to forget Max right?"  
  
Liz nodded slightly, still without words to express the way she was feeling. Maria went on.  
  
"Well that isn't what I feel. It has almost been a half of a year Liz! True, I don't think that is too terribly long but I'm not you. I haven't gone through what you went through. With Michael and me- well, it was different. There was never any 'other' girl," she said stressing the word other as she looked back up at Liz. "Michael never went on and forgot about me. I mean, I know how much you loved Max and I know how much those times you were together meant to you. I also know the whole destiny shit was pretty messed up but that is beside the point. I know that you two had it tough and for you it was different. Don't you think I know how much Max hurt you? And after that I can see what you are doing with Sean and it's- it really isn't bad Liz. As bad as you think it is it isn't really." She stopped and watched as Liz took in everything that she had said.  
  
"So you don't hate me for moving on so soon?" Liz asked her.  
  
Maria laughed and shook her head, "no I don't." She paused slightly, "just as long as you don't tell me about it alright? Because sure, you're together and that's great and all but I REALLY don't need to hear about Sean's love life."  
  
Liz and Maria giggled and Liz nodded, "don't worry about it Maria." She said to assure her, "I won't tell you a thing."  
  
*That night*  
  
Maria sighed as she walked through the dark house and headed toward the kitchen. She pushed open the door and let out a tiny scream when she saw someone sitting at the table with their back turned away from her.  
  
He turned around and laughed, "Geez Maria. Calm down," he said his voice cracking slightly as he looked at her, tears of happiness brimming his eyes.  
  
She clutched her heart as she looked at him, "M- Michael," she stammered.  
  
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~A/N #2~ Ooh, the pod squad's back in town. *Cheesy soap opera voice over* What will Max say when he finds out about Liz and Sean? Will Sean and Liz stay together? Will Max push them apart? Find out next time on Forever Without You.  
  
Hehehe. ok, you guys. It's up to you now- review and get more story? Or don't review and be left on the cliff hanger? Please review! Thanks! I'll shut up now! 


	6. Decisions

~A/N~ Wow, a new chapter already. Go me! OK, done with that. HEY! Thanks for the reviews! They make my day! If you guys like my story then read my other one! It's called Mistakes. I think it is pretty good but hey, what do I know? OK. enjoy and please review? We are almost done with this story.  
  
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A smile stretched across his face as he got up and headed toward her. He stopped in front of her and she looked up at him.  
  
"Oh God, Michael." She said again as she felt the tears rush to her eyes. She reached up and ran a shaky hand over his cheek. "You're really there," she laughed as she pulled his face down and his lips met hers in a long and much needed kiss. A kiss she had been waiting for- longing for while Michael was fighting in another galaxy, a kiss from the love she wasn't sure she would ever see again.  
  
"Maria," he whispered as he pulled her into his arms, "God Maria. I missed you so much. You have no idea."  
  
"H- how did you get here? I mean, it has only been a half of a year. I thought you said it would be years."  
  
He laughed slightly, "is that all it's been? Time is measured so differently up there I had almost forgotten. We overthrew Kivar and started a rebellion. He was found dead outside of a local civilization awhile ago. We had to get the country stabilized and Za- I mean Max put a new ruler in the throne." He smiled and took her hand leading her over to the table. They took a seat and he kept talking. "I'm so used to calling him Zan- it is going to take me so long to get out of the habit. We came as fast as we could Maria- we missed you all so much. Izzy, Max, and me- we just couldn't get here sooner."  
  
As Maria listened her eyes clouded over and she looked at her hands.  
  
"What Maria? What's wrong. They're ok aren't they? Liz, Kyle, your mom? Everyone is alright aren't they?"  
  
Maria nodded slowly thinking of Liz. "Everyone OK Michael but things- things have changed since you left. A lot has changed."  
  
*At the same time*  
  
Liz sat on her bed flipping through the magazine carelessly- waiting for the thing she had waited for every night for the past few months. He came every night at the same time without fail and Liz couldn't wait to tell Sean that Maria was ok with everything that was going on.  
  
She heard a noise out on her balcony and she smiled waiting. "Sean?" She called out when he didn't come and she heard another noise. She saw the curtains flutter and a hand pull them back. She felt her heart stop in her chest as the face peaked in through the window.  
  
"Oh my God. Max?" She asked quietly as he stretched his legs through the window and walked toward her. His tall frame dominating the room in exactly the same way she had remembered it.  
  
Instantly she was on her feet and standing in front of him. They didn't say anything- just stared at each other for the longest time, making Liz's knees go weak at the sight of him and making her realize why she had missed him so much. She shook her head in order to clear it and looked back up at him. "How- I mean, how are you back so soon? I thought you said the rebellion would take years at the least. I mean- I didn't think it would be this soon."  
  
He smiled as he looked at her, "the people up on Antar were more eager to get rid of Kivar than we had thought. We had achieved the rebellion in a few months- earth time of course- and Kivar was dead soon after that. It was so much easier than anticipated."  
  
The smile on his face grew and he took a step closer to her closing the gap between him. He leaned down and his lips brushed hers. Instantly Liz pulled away and when Max looked at her there was something in her eyes he hadn't seen before. Fear and- guilt.  
  
"What's wrong with you Liz?" Max asked a hint of anger and a trace of fear seeping through his words.  
  
"I- I have to tell you Max. You don't understand- you've just been gone for so long," she stuttered trying to get the words to come out of her mouth and trying not to think about the fact that Max had just kissed her.  
  
"Well you-" he started but stopped abruptly when there was a thud outside her window and on the patio. His eyes shot over, "what the hell is going on Liz?" He asked as he threw back the curtains and saw who was out there.  
  
"Evans?" Sean asked incredulously as he looked at Max. He glanced back at Liz with a look of confusion but she just closed her eyes and shook her head, not wanting to have to explain everything- not wanting to go on.  
  
"Liz? What is going on here? Why is Sean on your patio? Why did you pull away when I tried to touch you? Please, just answer my questions." He paused as he looked at Sean and back at Liz and he whispered in a voice barely audible in the deafening silence of the room, "I'm not going to like what I hear am I?"  
  
Liz paused before she reluctantly shook her head. "Max, when you left- when you left I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go- so few people understood exactly what was going on and exactly what I was feeling and-"  
  
"And Sean understands EXACTLY how you felt Liz?" Max asked quickly darting his eyes toward Sean wanting to know how much Liz had told Sean about his secrets.  
  
"Oh save it Max. I don't know where you went or what the hell was so important that you had to leave Liz here alone for so many months. Whatever your stupid problem was I don't really want to hear it," Sean spat out, his words biting coldly through Max as he climbed through the window.  
  
Sean looked between the two and continued. "What you did to Liz wasn't fair Max- that's it, plain and simple. Liz shouldn't have to explain this to you so I will. You left and she was devastated- fucking dying over you Max. So I helped her- I treated her like she needed to be treated. Something you, obviously, were incapable of doing." He finished with his eyes fixed on Max in a cold glare.  
  
Max looked around him at Liz who still looked stricken and guilty. Standing with a blank expression on her face and her hands trembling. "Is it true Liz? Did you- are you and Sean. I mean, are you two together?" He asked stressing the last word bitterly.  
  
Liz looked between Max and Sean. The only two men she had ever loved- her first, who she thought was her obvious destiny. The second- who had showed her she could have plainly been wrong. She took a deep breath before answering him. "Yes Max. Everything Sean said is true."  
  
Liz would never forget the look on Max's face at that exact moment. The look of hate, of sorrow, but mostly sadness. "I can't believe you would do this to me Liz. I mean we were supposed to be together. We were-"  
  
"Oh, shut up Max!" Sean screamed and Max flinched drawing back as Sean took a step closer, his hands clenched and ready to spring. "Honestly! YOU LEFT! Are you forgetting that? I know you loved Liz and she loved you and you two were 'destined to be together' or whatever. I know she loved you first but what does that even mean? Does that mean that feelings can never change? Does that mean that she can't ever love anyone else? Because it sure as hell looked like you loved someone else when you were with that Harding girl. I watched as you broke Liz's heart- you broke it so easily and with no respect for how she felt. Did she yell at you? Did she say it 'wasn't fair'? Do you honestly not think you aren't being a complete hypocrite?" Sean's gaze never left Max's and he watched the expression on Max's face turn from one of complete hate and sorrow to one of guilt.  
  
"Sean, I really think you should just can it. You have no idea why I left and no idea what went on between Tess, Liz, and me. Frankly, it was none of your business so I wish you would just stay out! And honestly-"  
  
"You expected me to stay out when I saw the look of despair every day when she brought me my food in the Crashdown after you left? When I saw her crying in the back room when she didn't think I was watching? When I saw all the life, all the happiness she had once had just disappear? You expected me to just act like nothing was happening when the girl I love was in so much pain?"  
  
The room fell silent. Liz watched as the two men stared at each other, their gazes never leaving the other's eyes.  
  
In one swift movement Max's fist connected with Sean's face and Liz let out a scream as she watched Sean crumple to the floor briefly before jumping back up and punching Max in the jaw.  
  
"STOP!" Liz screamed and instantly the fight ceased and the two men looked at her red, angry face. "Would you two just STOP? PLEASE? I mean look at you! You're both acting like you're five! A fist fight over a girl? I thought you guys had gotten over the middle school age. Honestly, you guys fighting isn't going to influence my decision. This isn't 1800! I don't fall to my knees when one man has more valor than the other! All you two are doing is proving to me how childish you are. You want me to make a decision right? Well don't act like babies in the process. I will make my 'decision' when I am good and ready and you two just have to wait. Now just leave. Go, I don't want to see either of you right now," she finished, the fury evident in her voice.  
  
Guiltily the two men trudged out and she collapsed on her bed, listening to them climb down the ladder.  
  
She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind- tried to think. Tried to figure out exactly what was going on in her heart. Max or Sean? Max or Sean? The question kept racing through her mind. The answer slithered through the back of her mind and Liz tried to grasp it but it was impossible. She had no idea what to do. 


	7. Antarean Memories of Deceit

~A/N~ Although I am not getting reviews I am going to finish this story. One more chapter and it is done. I would help me SO much if you would please review this if you read it. Please? Thank you if you do- you help so much. Enjoy people.  
  
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*The Next Morning*  
  
Liz bounded down the stairs and through the back doors of the restaurant and suddenly came to a dead stop. She laughed at the sight in front of her. Michael was sitting in one of the booths with Maria sprawled in his laps with her eyes closed and his head nestled in her neck whispering something to her.  
  
Their eyes opened when they heard her come down. "I see you two are right back to where you were when Michael left." Liz said smiling as she grabbed a cloth and began wiping down the tables for opening.  
  
Maria laughed as she slowly and somewhat reluctantly left Michael's lap, much to his protest, and walked over to Liz. Michael followed.  
  
"Hey Liz, how you been lately?" He asked already knowing the answer- Maria had filled him in the night before.  
  
Liz sighed glancing up at him. "Not the greatest." She said as the memories of the night before rushed to her mind.  
  
Maria looked worriedly at her. "Max went to your room last night didn't he?" Liz nodded and Maria concluded, "and so did Sean."  
  
Liz looked down at her hands and nodded. "It was terrible- I don't know what to feel anymore you know? I- I just don't know. They fought- Max and Sean. I mean actually fought. Fists and everything. Max started it when Sean said something about him loving me," She shook her head as she remembered. "I told them to go and said I would make my 'decision' when I was ready. My decision. How terrible is that? How am I supposed to choose Maria? How?"  
  
Michael listened intently. "I can see where you're at Liz but, of course, I am going to say go with Max. What else do you expect me to say? I respect your decision though and I know that you will make the right choice- whether that is Max or Sean you can do it."  
  
Liz nodded her head to show Michael she understood, "thanks Michael. I know you're going to be inclined to tell me to go with Max but you," she sighed pausing briefly before she went on. "You just haven't been here lately."  
  
*That night*  
  
Liz stared at the magazine, never tearing her eyes away and trying not to think about Max or Sean. That was all she had been thinking about all day and her mind was spinning with the decision- each possibility racing through her mind just followed by the next.  
  
"Liz," the voice said and her head shot toward the patio. She felt her heart drop.  
  
"Max, you shouldn't be here." She said quietly as she watched him come in from the patio and walk nearer to her.  
  
He sighed nodding his head as he sat down on the bed across from her. "I know that. I had to see you Liz. I haven't seen you for six months- I just had to talk to you for awhile." He paused glancing at her, "we don't have to talk about Sean or any of that crap if you don't want. I just wanted to see you." He looked at her and knew she wanted to talk to him too. He knew she had missed him- even though Sean was in the picture.  
  
She nodded slowly and smiled, "so what was Antar like anyway?"  
  
He too smiled, "it was hot and baron. No trees or anything. It was just so- not home. You know what I mean? The whole time I was there I kept getting these memories of things I had done there- things Zan had done there. I kept saying 'Come on Max, this is your home.' It wasn't though- Antar will never be my home. My home is with you Liz- I know you don't want me to say that but it is."  
  
Liz looked at him and a silence fell over the room. Slowly Max leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. She knew she should pull away but she didn't- longing to remember how it had been when life was simple. When Sean was just Maria's cousin and Max was the only one she could ever love.  
  
Slowly Max pulled away and looked at her with a sad look in his eye and instantly Liz knew what had happened. She shook her head and whispered, "you saw it all didn't you? All that time with Sean. You saw it when you kissed me?"  
  
He nodded and sighed. "I should go. I shouldn't even be here."  
  
He began to get up off the bed but Liz caught his hand, "I want to know one thing Max. Did you see Tess?"  
  
Max paused before nodding. "I saw Tess and I saw my son. I made him the heir to the throne. When he is old enough he will take over. Tess has been banished and put into a 'prison' up on Antar."  
  
Liz looked at him. "And that's all Max? I see flashes when I kiss you too remember. I know what happened up on Antar," she said remembering the one flash she had gotten when she kissed him. A flash of the two kissing accompanied with a feeling of love from Max.  
  
Max shook his head, "I have to go." He said before he slid off the bed and out the to the patio, descending down the ladder.  
  
*30 Minutes Later*  
  
"Alright, alright. I'm here. I don't see what was so important that I had to come over IMMEDIATELY. I mean, Michael was there- MICHAEL WAS THERE. You understand?" Maria stopped and looked over at Liz's face and her mouth clamped shut. She paused before going on, "are you alright? You look terrible- what happened?"  
  
Liz shook her head and sighed. "I'm sorry Maria. It was selfish of me to want you to come over right away but-"  
  
"No way Liz. I am totally here for you- I told you that. Anytime you need me you call and I'll be over in a minute," she took a seat on the bed next to Liz, "so what happened?"  
  
Liz took a shaky breath, "Max happened."  
  
"He came here didn't he? After you specifically asked him! I know you love the boy Liz but he can piss me off more than you could imagine."  
  
Liz smiled and shook her head. "He came in Maria and we were just talking- about Antar and what it had been like. All of a sudden he was kissing me. And, I saw a flash of him and Tess up on Antar and they were kissing-"  
  
"KISSING!" Maria cut her off again and jumped off the bed and began to pace back and forth across he small area of carpet. "Kissing up on Antar? What happened to his whole 'I can't believe you weren't completely faithful to me?' speech? Huh?"  
  
"Calm down Maria and let me finish. He was kissing Tess but that wasn't what upset me so much," she glanced at Maria's shocked expression before going on. "What upset me was the kiss. When I kissed Max I felt- I felt nothing."  
  
"Nothing? As in- as in NOTHING? As in none of those sparks you used to talk about?"  
  
Liz nodded her head vigorously. "He kissed me and it didn't feel at all like what it used to. When Max used to kiss me I got so lost in him it seemed like nothing was going on other than that kiss. When he kissed me today- I felt nothing."  
  
Maria paused before answering. She took a breath and looked at Liz, "so then what's the problem? I mean, it obviously isn't Max. I hate to say this gross and disgusting comment but it looks like Sean is your answer."  
  
Liz shook he head burying it in her hands and groaning. "You see, that's the thing! What if I am wrong? Max was my first love Maria. My destiny. How can you replace that? How can one guy come and ruin my whole existence, tear down the barrier I had built up, and show me that everything I once believed was a complete lie? How could Sean ever do that? He is just a guy- how can he have so much power?"  
  
Maria shook her head and sighed. "I don't know Liz. You have to decide though, it isn't fair what you are doing to Sean or Max. I live with Sean you know- he has been so depressed. He doesn't leave his room except to get food. He has been terrible. You just can't do it to them anymore."  
  
"I'll make my decision Maria. I'll make my decision very soon." 


	8. And They All Lived Happily Ever After

~A/N~ The final chapter is here. You guys I enjoyed this story! This is the first Roswell story I have ever completed. YAHOO! Go me! Hehe! Oh yeah, back to the AN. So anyway- I hope you guys enjoyed this story. Even though I never got many reviews I still enjoyed writing it. I hope you like the end- please review and tell me what you think! ~Radiogirl  
  
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*Two Nights later*  
  
"I can't believe I am doing this," Liz muttered as she soundlessly snuck around the side of the house and Max's window came into view. She had finally made her decision- the decision that she realized had been made all along.  
  
She saw him sitting on his bed with his Calculus book in his lap and as she raised her hand to knock on the window she paused. Was this the right decision? Was this really what she wanted to do?  
  
She shook her head and quickly knocked on the window. His eyes shot up and when he saw her a smile spread across his face. He jumped up from the bed and opened the window.  
  
They stood staring at each other for a moment before Max spoke. "Come on in Liz," he said and helped her as she slowly climbed through the window. Once she got inside she scanned the room that used to be so familiar to her. The books lined neatly in the book case and CDs scattered around on the desk. The room she had once loved more than her own because it was so Max.  
  
She caught his expectant gaze and she sighed. "I made my decision Max."  
  
A hopeful smile played on his lips and he took a deep breath before speaking, "and it's me?"  
  
She felt her heart drop at the happy gleam in his eye. "No," she whispered and sadly watched as the smile dropped from his face.  
  
"How? How could you forget Liz? Don't you even remember what we had? It has only been six months! I just don't know how you could have stopped loving me in six months!" He heard the despair rising in the back of his throat and swallowed the tears of disappointment before they could surface. So many months on Antar had showed him to never show weakness- never let Kivar know you were faltering. Never let them know that you were scared.  
  
Liz shook her head the tears gleaming in her tired eyes. "That's where you'll never understand Max and I know that. I can never expect you to understand and I can never make you. You have absolutely no idea how terrible it was for me to watch you with Tess do you?"  
  
"Of course I know Liz! You told me how-"  
  
"No Max," she inturrupted shaking her head. "You never knew because I never let you know. I never let you know how much you hurt me. I told you it hurt but I never told you- it killed me. I wanted to die every time I saw you smile at her. That isn't what turned me away from you Max. Who says your first love is your only love? I used to think that. I know you still do but I- I just can't. Sean showed me while you were gone that there were things so- so amazing that I had never even realized. Things I had never felt. I only wish you could understand Max- because if you did then you would let me go. You would let me finally be happy."  
  
Max paused looking at her. For the first time he saw the pain in her eyes- the pain that had always been there but for some reason he only saw it now. He had hurt her so much and he had never known it. He took a deep breath before replying, "I do want you to be happy Liz. That is all I want you to be. I want you to be happy and if that means letting you go then I will."  
  
Max watched as a smile broke out on her face. "Really?"  
  
He smiled slightly too, "really."  
  
She laughed and hugged him tightly. She pulled away and looked up at him. "I love you Max. You have to always know that. I love you but I just- I just can't-"  
  
"Don't worry about it Liz." He cut her off and smiled, "I'll see you at school alright?"  
  
She smiled once more before turning for the window and slowly climbing out. She looked back at him, "goodbye Max."  
  
"Bye Liz."  
  
Ten minutes later  
  
Sean heard the sound of the door slowly creaking open and he let out a muffled groan not wanting to be bothered.  
  
"Maria go away! For the last time NO I don't want tea, NO I don't want ice cream. All I want is to sleep, OK?" He asked not rolling over to look at her.  
  
"That isn't really what I had in mind," he heard the voice and instantly he felt his heart skip a beat. He sat up and turned around seeing Liz standing in the doorway.  
  
She smiled, "I just wanted to talk."  
  
"Yeah, uh, come in," he said pushing the scattered clothes off of the end of his bed giving her a place to sit. "Sorry, uh, I'm not the cleanest person in the world."  
  
She laughed at the nervous tone of his voice and shook her head as she sat down. "Sean would you calm down? I just want to talk."  
  
He too laughed, "I know but we haven't talked for a very long while Liz. We haven't talked since- since Max came back."  
  
She sighed and nodded, "yeah, that's what I need to talk about."  
  
Sean watched her expression change slightly and felt his heart drop. "You chose Max didn't you?" He asked sadly.  
  
To his surprise she let out another laugh. "Of course I didn't choose Max. Sean! How could you think I would choose Max," she smiled slapping him playfully. "If I chose Max who would I bowl with? Max hates bowling."  
  
He smiled at her and laughed, "true. But you know I was thinking of a little more than bowling."  
  
She giggled, "and what exactly were you thinking of Sean?"  
  
"This," he said and he leaned over catching her lips in a long awaited and much needed kiss. He slowly pulled away and looked into her eyes, "I love you Liz."  
  
She smiled as she looked at him again. As she looked in his eyes she knew she had made the right decision and for the first time in years everything seemed right.  
  
"I love you too Sean. I love you so much." 


End file.
